Silence is Golden

In a previous post I mentioned

that our family has been tried by the

fire of spiritual warfare.

So I won't revisit details here,

except to say I learned

it is important to know that you can ask God

what the enemy is doing in your life.

Questions like,

"How is the devil getting in?"

"What door have I left open to evil?"

"How do I take back ground that I surrendered unknowingly to the enemy?"

One question I asked during our testing and tribulation was,

"What dark spirit am I praying against specifically?"

"Is it anger, bitterness, idolatry, unforgiveness?"

"What, Lord?"

I was throwing out as many names of spirits as I could think of

but we were not getting freedom.

So I asked the obvious, "Why, Lord?"

And all I got in answer was silence.

Week after week, I prayed for chains to be broken.

I prayed specific prayers of repentance over any sin I could think of, and

asked the Lord to remove the spirit of deception behind that sin.

But I felt empty because God wasn't answering my question,

"what deceptive spirit is ruling our house?"

I have found there are usually 3 reasons why God is silent in my life.

1. I have quenched the Holy Spirit who teaches me; or

2. God wants to talk about a different topic than the one I keep bringing up; or

3. He is training me to know who I am and what I should do by letting go.

(Taking me off milk so to speak; or letting me practice riding my bike

on the street without training wheels. But that is a whole other topic.)

So, a month later I'm walking through Price Chopper,

looking for Cheerios in the cereal aisle,

and as I grab the box, a voice says, "Stubborness",

very clearly into my mind.

And I'm like,

what in the world.

"Stubborness? You think I'm stubborn this morning, Lord?"

"What did I do?"

Very puzzled I checked out,

walked to the car,

laid my head on the steering wheel

and thought "what in the world is stubborness?"

And suddenly,

I knew.

He crashed two moments in time together, and I knew.

He chose to answer my desperate, tear- filled plea from weeks ago

on a random day while I was grocery shopping.

Why does He do that?

Why is He silent?

My sheep know my voice, He says.

And I am learning to wait as long as He takes to answer.

Because I knew it was Him.

And really, there is no greater thrill than knowing that

the God of the Universe speaks to man.

So I did some worship dancing on the drive home as my way of saying Thank You.

Started praying against stubborness night and day, and still do years later.

Because I am fascinated that He gave me one specific trouble spot in my life,

and in my house that He wants to free us from.

And I can't bear to miss out on being rescued.

His silence isn't something I understand.

Some say it is because there is a war in the heavens to delay our answers.

So I don't want to pout, when all Heaven is being moved for me.

God most often uses few words, and lots of pauses.

But after a long pause, I know a Word is coming.

That is why His silence is golden.

It's just the crescendo before your next rescue.