Sometimes we act like God has no backbone.
We carry silent brooding that WE would show up
Captain America style in this crazy world,
and we wonder... where exactly is He?
But it doesn't sit well with most of us to admit
we want to be God. Or that we aren't impressed with His timing.
So we stuff it.
I'm not going to say what you should do to release silent pride.
But once, and only once,
I went to my bedroom and let go,
a feminine fury of
how angry I was with people,
and with God's lack of defending me.
And He said,
"Will You...Strike...the Rock?"
Now only God would know this,
but that reference from the life of Moses
is the one story in the Bible that
is pretty hard for me to swallow.
So, interesting to me that He used a
line from this dramatic event to reveal 2 things
to me in my fit of rage:
1. That He knows me intimately enough to know what Word
would pierce my stubborness.
I went to my knees begging God not to let my angry disobedience
cut off my life as it did for Moses.
2. And after I repented, He said,
"How many times have I privately pursued you
about this brewing storm in your heart, in order to relieve you?
yet you assume I was less patient with Moses?
You assume I was not silently revealing an impending disaster,
which he ignored. You choose to believe I am Unkind.
And that You would do better."
I was so startled at His specific pin point to my rebellion
and His perfect wording to bring repentance.
I was renewed with a Fear of the Lord for some time.
It does fade though.
And I have been stewing lately,
and needed to write this as a reminder.
He is good and working silently more wonders than I can behold.
Training myself to let my imagination run wild on Truth
instead of lies.
💗💗💗